Skip to main content

The 4th Mistake of his Life

if you are yet to say hi to Chetan Bhagat's '3 Mistakes of my Life' then fun is not guaranteed.

A conversation between Chethan Bhagat and Govind Patel....(my adaptation)



CB: Hello

GP: am I am speaking to Chethan Bhagat?

CB: How did you get this number in first place?

GP: A friend of mine works at the Rupa Publishers.

CB: Then whom do you think you are speaking to? Ajmal Kasab! No Sir.

GP:...
CB: Hello? Are you dead?

GP: Not yet Sir, but would be soon...coz I am popping a sleeping pill after each sentence I speak.

CB: Cool. What brand?

GP: Calmpose

CB: Okay. Now would you mind backing your insanity with a bit of logic?

GP: I committed 3 mistakes....and now I feel so terrible that I feel ought not to live..would you listen to my tale?

CB: I am all ears

GP: My name is Govind Patel, and I am a businessman from Ahmedabad.

CB: Okay

GP: Ish, Omi and I were friends right from childhood, Ish was a cricket frantic and Omi a priest's son.

CB: Tell me the 3 mistakes.

GP: The 3 of us wanted to open a sports shop at Ahmedabad...we had invested all our savings to buy a stall.

CB: Then?

GP: The whole complex went down in a fire...we lost all our money.

CB: Hardly a reason to die. Next?

GP: I used to take Math classes for Ish's sister Vidya. In due course we fell for each other and one fine evening I gave her life lessons....

CB: I didn't get the mistake part.

GP: Well I quite forgot the old saying 'Prevention is better than abortion'

CB: You shouldn't have...then what happened?

GP: By God's grace nothing awry occurred...but Ish found out and since then he has not spoken to me.

CB: Nothing happened! Man its pathetic! Seriously I don't think there's any reason why you should continue to live.

GP: Before I tell my third mistake I must tell about Ali. He is such an abundantly gifted kid with the bat. I still remember how he thrashed Ish all over the field!

CB: Ish kaun? Ishant Sharma??

GP: Ish...Vidya's bro...

CB: What does Ali have to do with your mistake?

GP: A few years ago communal riots were a commonplace here...bloods of innocent people were shed in the name of religion...we lost our Omi in the bloody fight...To retaliate, Bittu Mama and gang started finishing off Muslims, literally setting them on fire. We tried to rescue Ali for he was a budding talent, but I reacted a bit late considering my own safety and Ali got a cut on his wrist...I am such a self centered duffer!

CB: Is that all?

GP: Yeah...would you consider this for your next work?

CB: I would definitely look into it...

GP: Thank You Sir. Good bye.

CB: And Govind, RIH.

GP: Isn't it suppossed to be Rest In Peace?

CB: Not exactly. I meant it to be Rot In Hell.

GP: It seems calling you was the 4th mistake of my life.

CB: I knew it right from the beginning...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Roasted

  At Chico’s home ‘Mama, you promised to take me out for lunch on Sunday if I got good grades in the exams…’ seven-year-old Chico complained to his mother, Laila, as she lay confined to the comforts of her couch on a lazy Sunday morning. ‘Ugh…’ Laila groaned as she continued to scroll through reels. 'And we will go on a Sunday!’ ‘Today is Sunday, Mama!’ Chico started pulling at his mama bear’s arms. ‘Well, another one is due in seven days…’ Laila muttered, unwilling to move, but the thought of not having to cook lunch did tempt her. ‘Okay, if I promised you, you shall have it. Tell me what you want. I'll order…’ ‘No, Mama, I want to go out and dine, and I want you to take a selfie at the restaurant and post it, and I want my friends to ask me about it in class.’ Laila pulled her eyes from the screen and looked at her son. He was growing smart indeed. ‘Okay, fine, you got it. What do you want to have, though?’ ‘Roasted Chicken!’ At Durien’s Chicken Farm ‘But why can’t we go ou...

Familial Cowswami

Last day, I had the misfortune of interacting with the husband of one of my cousins at a family event. Since we’ve already established my feelings toward him, let me clarify that he is not an evil person. It’s just that our ideologies and outlooks toward life could poetically be described as Yin-Yang—completely opposite, with no common ground. That’s fine; everyone is entitled to their vision, as long as they don’t try to claim their vision as the only correct one and attempt to shove it on others who haven’t asked for advice. After exchanging pleasantries, we got down to the “real talk.” He started by asking me why I am still sticking around here (India) and not moving abroad. To set the context, he has been working in the Middle East ever since I first met him at my cousin’s wedding, around fourteen years ago. His wife and kids, who used to live with him, recently moved to Canada, possibly to settle there once he retires. Of course, moving abroad seems to be the trend (or even the no...

The Nation Needs to Know How To Hold the Government Accountable

Imagine you are visiting a cafe. You sit down at a table. A waiter offers you a menu card. You order an orange juice without sugar. Ten minutes later, the waiter returns and serves you a glass of orange juice. You take a sip. You realize that the juice has sugar. The waiter has either forgotten or ignored your request. Now, if you are someone who is uncomfortable with confrontations, you would probably curse your luck and have the juice with the added sugar. But most people would choose to raise the issue with the waiter. They asked for a product and are paying for it, and they are within every right to question if the establishment fails to provide what was promised. Forget raising the issue amicably, we have seen people taking to social media, ranting about how they have been deceived by some restaurants, who gave them chicken when they had asked for vegetarian food. Again, the customer has the right to demand what they want and hold the provider accountable if they fail to do so. Th...